Reflection

I recently read a blog post from someone about the beginning of her marriage and how they couldn’t be happier. The beginning of their relationship sounded so familiar. I believe they were in the “honeymoon phase” of their relationship at the time. I have fond memories of this time and miss it since having multiple children and our lives have gotten so busy. From what I have read, this is the phase of a relationship that usually lasts from 6 months to 2 years. We have all been in that phase of a relationship and it is amazing. I am not saying everyone’s relationships are doomed after this phase. I am basically just wanting to reflect back on that phase in my life since I am now past the 6 year mark of my relationship with my wife, Meghan. So I’m going to turn back time and reminisce a little.

Let’s start from the beginning. I was and still am quite a shy person. So I didn’t go actively looking for a relationship in high school or college. I always thought someone would stumble into my path and I could just focus on school. So needless to say, I didn’t have a long term relationship in high school or college. I will admit I did go on a few dates with a few lovely people but I was either overbearing or too afraid to fully commit to a relationship. I feel like those short relationships were put in my path to help prepare me for experiences later on in my life.

When I got out of college, I got a big boy job and moved in to an apartment with a good friend of mine. I still remember the details of the true beginning. The electricity (and a/c) in my apartment had went out so I was staying in a hotel for a night on July 2, 2011. I decided to try a new dating website (remember I am a shy person) called OKcupid while I was sitting in the hotel room. I made a profile and messaged a few matches. Well, Meghan was one of those matches. One of her friends had put her up to trying OKcupid a week before that. I had previously watched a documentary called The Business of Being Born. And I had seen on Meghan’s profile that she wanted to be a Doula, which is someone who helps with childbirth. So we hit it off talking about her aspirations in that field. Then once again since I am the shy person that I am, SHE asked if we could talk on the phone instead of the website. Then eventually we decided to go on a date and meet in person, after a mutual friend confirmed I was not a creep.

Our first date was on August 2, 2011. I picked her up at her house and got to meet her family who seemed a little anxious about her going on a date with someone she met online. She was beautiful and way out of my “league”. We went to go see Captain America and had dinner at Red Lobster at the Mall of Louisiana. I thanked the Lord for giving me the opportunity to meet her and I even prayed a blessing before we ate. I apparently made quite an impression. We both had a great time and we knew something special would happen between us. It was the best night of my life. I couldn’t even make it back home before I asked if we could go on a another date.

We went on many dates and it was all so romantic and perfect. I got to meet her daughter, Brynlee who had just turned 1. We spent all of our spare time together just like anyone would in their honeymoon phase. Due to my previous experiences, I was scared that I was being overbearing. She reassured me that this was not the case multiple times. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I remember picking out a ring and asking her parent’s permission while Meghan was at school one night. They were quick to say yes, but they did have some reservations shortly after. They wanted me to assure them Meghan would finish school. She is finally doing that this year actually! I am not sure what pushed me to the next step, but I remember the date.

On October 24, 2011, I proposed to Meghan at TownCentre in Baton Rouge. It was just a normal weekday after she got done with her classes for the night. I already had the ring and I just couldn’t wait any longer to pop the question. She said yes and the excitement and planning commenced. The next couple months moved very fast. We started looking at houses and locations for the wedding. We wanted a beach wedding even to the point where we had put a deposit down on a catering venue. But beach weddings come with exclusivity and we had trouble wanting to leave anyone out. So we decided to just have an extremely small wedding at our church.

We tied the knot on Monday, January 2, 2012 with our parents, grandparents and siblings. We then celebrated at Texas Roadhouse. We then went to Natchez for our short honeymoon. We moved into our house on January 20 of that same year. These were simpler times with just one child. We started learning things like getting used to living with each other and budgeting. I don’t know that a couple ever stops learning how to live with each other. We are still figuring things out six years later.

I don’t know exactly how long our honeymoon phase lasted, but many life events have happened since then. Bradley was born on September 4, 2012. Emily was born on July 21, 2014. Kenleigh was born on May 4, 2016. As you can tell, we had quite a pattern going but we have had enough so that pattern won’t be repeating anymore.

Marriage with little children has been difficult, but recalling the memories of how we started keeps me going. This post is long, but it is mainly for me to go back and reflect.